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Thursday, January 15, 2009

I am in the pocket of Big bacon

I was in San Antonio today when AgentXRae sent me an instant message, alerting me to the airplane which made an emergency landing in NYC today. Note well: if you ever need someone to let you know about breaking news, she's your girl.

Not terribly fond of flying in the first place, I found a big-screen TV (my office is crawling with them) and rubbernecked with a few of my colleagues. On the drive home, I listened to each of NPR's stories on the event, each one about 5 minutes after the last. I'm very glad everyone is safe and that the pilot showed such presence of mind under pressure.

I guess it was my relief which made the tweets from @RedWhiteandNews even funnier, when I got home and read them, all at once. If you don't know what that is / who he is, he used to twitter under the name of @FakeJohnMcCain, and he was highly entertaining during the election. Afterwards, he changed his nom de plume, and spits out pretty solid material during the average day. Today, however, was clearly not an average day. I decided to RT (retweet) his missives for you, so you could enjoy them too. If you are on Twitter but don't follow him, check him out - he's BEGGING for followers!

  • Is it too early to start blaming the NY plane crash on the UAW?
  • Are the geese at least Democrats? Gimme something to work with here!
  • Ooooh, good point. Was the goose a MUSLIM??? Why is everybody looking at me that way?
  • 875,000 Google hits for "muslim goose". FIFTH COLUMN!
  • CANADIAN GEESE ARE THE WORST KIND
  • The inaccurate and misleading story practically writes itself! JOURNALISM ACCOMPLISHED
  • WHY HAS BARACK OBAMA NOT CONDEMNED CANADA FOR THE COWARDLY ATTACKS BY ITS GEESE ON OUR AIRLINERS???.
  • Only one conclusion can be taken from Obama's silence on the Canadian Conspiracy: he is in the pocket of Big Bacon.
  • Are the Canadian geese acting alone? Or are they in league with the Sea Kittens? WHY IS THE MSM NOT ASKING THESE QUESTIONS?!?
  • AMERICA WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE OF THE GOOSE IS RELEASED!
  • EVEN MORE SUSPICIOUS! Canadian geese are VEGETARIANS: http://is.gd/g2UU
  • Socialist vegetarian foreign birds attacking God-fearing American travelers. I TOLD YOU NO GOOD WOULD COME FROM ELECTING OBAMA.
  • Was the CIA aware that the Canadians possessed Waterfowl of Mass Destruction? AMERICA DEMANDS ANSWERS
  • TERRORIST BIRD IDed: http://twitpic.com/137ey Thanks to vigilant Homeland Security agent @vojha!
And just in case this is not 100% crystal clear to any of you - this is SATIRE.

Enjoy!

1 comment:

Agent X said...

I know he was KILLING ME. I had to show him to a couple people around the office, especially the vegetarian canadian geese one.