Thursday, November 12, 2009

For the sake of argument

Let's just say you have a mortgage. In fact, let's say you have two - one big, one little. Let's also say that your payments are due after the 1st of the month, and no later than the 15th. Are you with me so far?

Ok, so now, let's note that you've paid your mortgages - both of them! - on time, forEVER. I mean, you've never not once ever been late with your payments. And not just these mortgages, but every mortgage you've ever had for the four houses you've owned. NEVER LATE.

Still with me?

So what would you do if, for the last six months or so, your mortgage company has called your home number multiple times a day every day for the first two weeks of every month?

I answered once, when it first started, and didn't get anywhere with the entry-level clerk who was stuck making outbound collection calls after hours. So then I just ignored the calls; but JESUS, PEOPLE, STOP CALLING ME ALREADY.

I was feeling ornery tonight, so I answered, asked for a supervisor, put up with various and sundry pointless talking points and finally got one.
  • Yes, I agreed, this is my correct home phone number, WE'RE TALKING ON IT NOW.
  • Yes, he agreed, this was bordering on harassment
  • No, he said, I wasn't late with my payments
  • Well, he offered, I can put your work number on the Do Not Call list
  • No, I declined, you've never called me at work, so...no, not going to help
  • Well, he demurred, if I really didn't want them to call me at home, I could FAX in a cease & desist letter to them.

People, this is asinine. I need to fax in a request to stop collecting a debt that's not overdue and never has been?

No one could tell me why they were calling me when they agreed that I wasn't overdue, except to say they were calling me to remind me to pay. HELLO, I DON'T NEED A REMINDER, I'M A BIG GIRL. NOTHING in my payment history would make you think I need a reminder.
Since it's late, my manager claimed there was no one senior to escalate to, so I asked for an area manager or director to call me tomorrow. He agreed, then quickly tried to wrap up the conversation.

"Wait," I said, "WHO will call me, WHEN will they call me, at WHAT NUMBER will they call me?"

At this point, he began to think that he might just be able to put my home number on the Do Not Call list. "If they don't call you back," he said, "I've fixed it."

Fine - what's YOUR name, what's your last name, what's your ID number?

What do you think will happen? And can we get out of this recession so I can start answering my phone again?


Vetmommy said...

I think you need to call them and inform them that your home phone has changed. Then give them a bogus number. If they really need to contact you, they have your work number. Or they could write you a letter.

peevish said...

You should let Hazel handle it.

phd in yogurtry said...

I think you need to move back into that second house. That's the only solution with these nut job automatons.